A boundary marks the extent to a level of access we are willing to allow people have to us. We need boundaries because they keep us safe…
A boundary marks the extent to a level of access we are willing to allow people have to us. We need boundaries because they keep us safe physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. We need them to protect ourselves from people who want to harm us. However, we don’t only need them to protect us from people, but to also protect us from ourselves because sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We also need healthy boundaries to protect other people from ourselves. We have days where we know we are not at our best and we need healthy boundaries to keep us from hurting those around us.
Boundaries allow people to know who they are to you, where they stand, what’s ok and what’s not ok, and how close or how far away from you they need to be. It sets an expectation for how people can treat you. Boundaries help you manage your relationships better especially when they are clear. Once you recognize your boundaries, it is very important that you express them clearly. You can’t just expect people to know what your boundaries are without telling them what they are. It is also important that you respect other people’s boundaries the way you want your boundaries to be respected. Having a boundary is not a double standard or a one way street. It goes both ways.
It is important that you identify what healthy boundaries look like. You need to deferentiate between boundaries and limits. A boundary is drawing a line and saying “this is where it stops” and a limit is constraining and constricting; it builds a wall around you and keeps everyone else out. Boundaries don’t block people out, rather they show others where their freedom is.
There are six boundaries we all must have;
A lack of boundaries increase conflicts especially in relationships and business partnerships. This is because one person might feel like they are giving more than the other. It is important that you have clear boundaries so that you set clear expectations for those around you. In addition, you need to be careful and identify if you have rejection sensitivity; saying yes to too many things because you fear rejection. When you have a fear of rejection, there is a tendency to want to please people, leading you to do more than you need to. Setting a healthy boundary helps you clarify what your expectations are and what is out of your comfort zone.